2014 Press Releases (detailed in chronological order, latest to earliest)
ROW Comment
New ROW skip issued the following statement in response to the recent spate of OHA admissions onto the website:
“The ROW team are uplifted by the struggles Joey has gone through in finalising his OHA team. With three elder statesmen as no shows, rumours have been circulating in the ROW camp as to the real reasons for said absences. This situation highlights the real impact of last year’s defeat that has left the OHA both dejected and disillusioned. Poor Joey has had to take the unprecedented step of travelling the world to stop others from possibly withdrawing!!!
As a consequence of all these problems within the OHA Camp, we at the ROW welcome Jimmy Suds
coming to the rescue, a man who has experienced the Trevor from the right side of the tracks so to speak. His smiley, cheeky grin and nocturnal pedigree will make him a man we will seek out in the bar; finally we may have an OHA
player that can stay up for the duration!!
Having been in regular contact with all my boys, I am delighted to report that the ROW team preparation is on
track, training camps are going well and the all the boys are buzzing for this year’s Trevor”
New ROW skip issued the following statement in response to the recent spate of OHA admissions onto the website:
“The ROW team are uplifted by the struggles Joey has gone through in finalising his OHA team. With three elder statesmen as no shows, rumours have been circulating in the ROW camp as to the real reasons for said absences. This situation highlights the real impact of last year’s defeat that has left the OHA both dejected and disillusioned. Poor Joey has had to take the unprecedented step of travelling the world to stop others from possibly withdrawing!!!
As a consequence of all these problems within the OHA Camp, we at the ROW welcome Jimmy Suds
coming to the rescue, a man who has experienced the Trevor from the right side of the tracks so to speak. His smiley, cheeky grin and nocturnal pedigree will make him a man we will seek out in the bar; finally we may have an OHA
player that can stay up for the duration!!
Having been in regular contact with all my boys, I am delighted to report that the ROW team preparation is on
track, training camps are going well and the all the boys are buzzing for this year’s Trevor”
OHA Skip Completes Global Pre-Trevor Campaign
The new OHA skip, Colonel Osborne has almost completed his campaign to speak to all team members prior to the off this year. He offers the following explanation:
"Team talks provide so much information for captains at The Trevor, but from personal experience, I believe that one on one communication opens the door to so much more information. When face to face, you look into someone's eyes and really find out what a person thinks, how they feel, what makes them tick and so much more.
Trying to achieve my goal of meeting up with all the boys was a tough challenge with the team spread far and wide. So a family holiday Down Under was hastily arranged to meet up with the Aussie Boys. Jules was my first port of call in an attempt to deal with the shame of the 2103 "handicap scandal" then Rich followed once I received news from LT that he was intimating he may be available to play. Rich was an easy nut to crack, but with Jules, the only solution was to despatch LT out to Oz for a three week training camp to rebuild his mind set after the traumas of last year.
I have just completed my overseas meetings with a stay chez Hoody in Connecticut and can report he has followed the plan I set out last year and we will see a lean, mean fighting machine this year. Once the jockos cried off, I cancelled my trip over the border. This would have included a stop over at Toby's Harrogate mansion and with no further plans to head that way, sadly counsel with my predecessor will have to wait for night one at Forest Pines.
Chats will take place with all other local OHA boys as the event draws closer to ensure they are ready for battle come July. I am, though, particularly proud of my achievements with Leafy having taken him under my wings at Trumpton; never has he been better prepared for a Trevor.
This has been an invaluable exercise. Chatting in a frank, yet relaxed manner away from the cauldron of The
Trevor has given me new information. I believe this will help to win back the hallowed trophy at my first attempt".
"Team talks provide so much information for captains at The Trevor, but from personal experience, I believe that one on one communication opens the door to so much more information. When face to face, you look into someone's eyes and really find out what a person thinks, how they feel, what makes them tick and so much more.
Trying to achieve my goal of meeting up with all the boys was a tough challenge with the team spread far and wide. So a family holiday Down Under was hastily arranged to meet up with the Aussie Boys. Jules was my first port of call in an attempt to deal with the shame of the 2103 "handicap scandal" then Rich followed once I received news from LT that he was intimating he may be available to play. Rich was an easy nut to crack, but with Jules, the only solution was to despatch LT out to Oz for a three week training camp to rebuild his mind set after the traumas of last year.
I have just completed my overseas meetings with a stay chez Hoody in Connecticut and can report he has followed the plan I set out last year and we will see a lean, mean fighting machine this year. Once the jockos cried off, I cancelled my trip over the border. This would have included a stop over at Toby's Harrogate mansion and with no further plans to head that way, sadly counsel with my predecessor will have to wait for night one at Forest Pines.
Chats will take place with all other local OHA boys as the event draws closer to ensure they are ready for battle come July. I am, though, particularly proud of my achievements with Leafy having taken him under my wings at Trumpton; never has he been better prepared for a Trevor.
This has been an invaluable exercise. Chatting in a frank, yet relaxed manner away from the cauldron of The
Trevor has given me new information. I believe this will help to win back the hallowed trophy at my first attempt".
OHA Team FinalisedAfter years of ROW trouble and toils in completing their team, 2014 has seen a wind change
with the ROW confirmed early doors. Apart from the disappointment of losing their inspirational captain, the sweet taste of success ensured that all the team were champing at the bit to secure back to back victories that would bring the series tied going into the event's 20th anniversary year in 2015. The selection headache has fallen on the broad shoulders of new OHA skip, the Colonel Osborne, that has challenged his leadership and organisation skills. This saga is, of course, reported in full within the 2014 Report. The Colonel had the following to say: " A tough baptism of fire but I am pleased to announce the inclusion of some young blood into the team to galvanise our challenge to try and win back The Trevor with the inclusion of Suds claiming his rightful place in the OHA team. His unique humour and will to win will only strengthen our cause. Losing three Trevor stalwarts and legends, Clacks, JG & Jim, is not an ideal situation but in sporting history, many teams have experienced similar selection issues and still overcome adversity to triumph. Now is the time for the Lion to roar!!!" Returning to the FoldTrevor legend Julian Poulter has now confirmed his return back home after
years of exile Down Under. He will be arriving in the second half of June, obviously to allow suitable time for Trevor preparation, although there is a little concern that he may distracted in the early days. The OHA skip, Colonel Osborne, offers this cautionary statement: "Whilst delighted to hear that such a close friend is returning to the UK, my only focus at present is winning back the Trevor. As a trevorer, Jules has possibly been the most prepared and committed of all OHA players, but this year he has many potential distractions. Setting up a new office, finding a London residence, the adjustment to the hectic pace of city life against his recent soporific lifestyle in sleepy Narooma will all provide a challenge. He also has the very pleasant distraction of a new women in his life that he hooks up with as soon as hits these shores Yes, I am genuinely concerned that he can achieve a good love, work, Trevor balance at this time.... The BIG question is whether his legendary short game will be up to scratch with potentially reduced preparation time, so I’ve despatched HID to have a word with his new London based Belle to explain this concern". At this time Jules is unavailable to comment. ROW Injury Scare!!!It has come to light through a leaked email that the ROW team have been concealing an injury to one of their top performers in recent times. Sarge managed to break an ankle whilst playing football in his garden (stick to the oval ball if I were you mate - LT) and has been undergoing
treatment to guarantee his fitness by July. Hearing this news, OHA skip The Colonel issued the following statement: "I do have faith in the integrity of my rival skipper and am fairly sure the failure to report this matter to all trevorers rather than just his own team was a simple oversight. I know my boys would have liked to pass on their best wishes to Sarge. We hope he fully recovers as our desire to win back The Trevor is based on doing so against the strongest possible team. Sarge missing would be a massive blow to the ROW, and perhaps, looking at this cynically, Colin's failure to publish this news may just have been calculated to ensure that we, the OHA, had no reason to hear any news that may raise our team spirits. Surely not!!" |
OHA Handicap News
|
Woods ups ante on R&A to ban Garden
from this year’s Open.
The Royal and Ancient have so far refused to comment on the extra-ordinary developments surrounding the now closely linked
British Open and the 2014 Trevor Trophy. This year’s Open has been thrown into chaos after its major draw card sensationally threatened to withdraw from the Open unless the R&A stepped in to ban Hampton lynchpin John Garden from attending and forcing him to play in the Trevor Trophy instead..
Woods, 38, held a sensational press conference in New York to reveal that he would not play in this year’s Open if Garden continued his threat to abandon the Trevor Trophy in favour of a walk and an Ice Cream at this years blue riband major. Adding to his statement Woods said “This is a tough decision but we have to preserve the essence of amateur golf and I know other stars are considering taking similar action. Garden may be a dour miserable Scot's git to some people but he embodies matchplay golf around the world and kids kinda look up to him, you know”
from this year’s Open.
The Royal and Ancient have so far refused to comment on the extra-ordinary developments surrounding the now closely linked
British Open and the 2014 Trevor Trophy. This year’s Open has been thrown into chaos after its major draw card sensationally threatened to withdraw from the Open unless the R&A stepped in to ban Hampton lynchpin John Garden from attending and forcing him to play in the Trevor Trophy instead..
Woods, 38, held a sensational press conference in New York to reveal that he would not play in this year’s Open if Garden continued his threat to abandon the Trevor Trophy in favour of a walk and an Ice Cream at this years blue riband major. Adding to his statement Woods said “This is a tough decision but we have to preserve the essence of amateur golf and I know other stars are considering taking similar action. Garden may be a dour miserable Scot's git to some people but he embodies matchplay golf around the world and kids kinda look up to him, you know”
Asked if he would be prepared to take Garden’s place in the Hampton team if
the R&A refused to ban Garden from the Open, Woods said “It isn’t as simple as that.
Garden started his Hampton pedigree in 1997 with just a flyover of the school and I’m not even on the prefects shortlist. It takes years to get into that Hampton team.”
Hampton captain Colonel Jose Osborne when asked for comment said “John is under a lot of pressure at home and overseas and only he can make these kind of difficult decisions.”
Garden could not be contacted for comment.
the R&A refused to ban Garden from the Open, Woods said “It isn’t as simple as that.
Garden started his Hampton pedigree in 1997 with just a flyover of the school and I’m not even on the prefects shortlist. It takes years to get into that Hampton team.”
Hampton captain Colonel Jose Osborne when asked for comment said “John is under a lot of pressure at home and overseas and only he can make these kind of difficult decisions.”
Garden could not be contacted for comment.
Lord Trevor's Mistrevor - an apology!!Lord Trevor received a communication from an unknown source informing him that a Trevor legend has an issue over the wrong spelling of his nom de plume, something that may seem to be a trivial matter, but has been obviously been stewing for a considerable time.
This error has been reported since said player's debut in 1997, a period of 16 years. LT immediately tasked covert journalist Steph Lourman to get to the bottom of this matter in an attempt to calm the beating drums slowly rising to a crescendo from within the ROW camp. Long-term friends of said trevorer have confirmed to Lourman that Mike Softley is Softers, not Soffers as used by LT in all communiques. LT, a man who prides himself on his attention to detail is obviously embarrassed by this error and offers the following apology: "How I have made this error is beyond me and only a gentlemen of Mike's, or should I say Softers, stature would keep quiet about this matter for so long. Obviously enough is enough and I can only offer a formal apology for this poor mistrevor. My penance will be having to trawl through all the website pages to amend all entries for Softers, the price one pays for such mistrevors. My only concern now is the fear that this may have opened a can of worms and perhaps there maybe other errors with derivatives of player's nom de plumes; Ian Sarjeant is detailed as Sarge, should he be Sarje? David Callender as Clacks, should he be Clax? Only time will tell....." |
2014 RESPONSES - Slowly but Surely!! Tricky Dicky returning from Oz!!Firstly, thanks to all committed trevorers who have replied, as
requested, via the appropriate "Book Your Space" form. We are almost there with the completion of the teams to represent the OHA and ROW in the next instalment of the epic battle that is The Trevor Trophy. New ROW skip Colin has been working hard to chase up his boys and, from the 2013 winning team, now has 12 players confirmed. The two missing are their skip Kev Davies, sadly injured as reported (below) and long-term Trevor stalwart Woz. Details remain flaky as to why this Trevor legend has made himself unavailable; as we speak covert journalist Steph Lourman is on the case deep under cover to find out the truth behind this story - watch this space as things unfold!! The OHA have one or two flaky boys still to confirm their attendance, currently being chased hard for a response. Reasons have been given by these boys for said delay, but concerns are ringing through the hallowed halls of Hampton as to why they have not set aside the time to commit to the greatest show on earth. There is no doubt that new skip, Colonel Osborne has some hard yards ahead to galvanise his troops (report below). On the plus side, having returned to Oz and an original no to make the arduous trip back in 2014, Rich has somehow pulled out all the stops and has confirmed attendance for 2014 - good on yer!! |
SAD TREVOR NEWS - Injury Nightmare Rears Ugly Head Again
Triumphant ROW skip has very reluctantly withdrawn from his role as captain for
next year's event, Indeed his participation is in severe doubt. Kev is, once again, experiencing a recurrence of the neck problems he suffered back in 2007 and his consultant has put any golf off the agenda. This is a sad time but having spoken recently with ROW guru Prichy,the prognosis is possibly not quite as bad as first believed. Obviously our best wishes go out to Kev and we can only hope for good news around the corner.
.....the Trevor show must go on despite such news and the ROW High Council have sat and duly appointed a new captain to take over the reigns, a tough gig after Kev's triumphant 2013. Their new leader will be COLIN, an excellent choice; his barbed wit and hard nosed competitive streak balance against a sense of fair play tick all the boxes required for this prestigious role - good luck Colin!!! He has issued the following statement:
“I have been overwhelmed by the words of support and encouragement from the ROW team regarding my
appointment following Kev's sad withdrawal after an inspirational year as captain, and wish Kevin a speedy recovery. I am looking forward to the challenge of facing Jose and the OHA team and will do my best to stop the hanging of that
cheating bastard Jules”
next year's event, Indeed his participation is in severe doubt. Kev is, once again, experiencing a recurrence of the neck problems he suffered back in 2007 and his consultant has put any golf off the agenda. This is a sad time but having spoken recently with ROW guru Prichy,the prognosis is possibly not quite as bad as first believed. Obviously our best wishes go out to Kev and we can only hope for good news around the corner.
.....the Trevor show must go on despite such news and the ROW High Council have sat and duly appointed a new captain to take over the reigns, a tough gig after Kev's triumphant 2013. Their new leader will be COLIN, an excellent choice; his barbed wit and hard nosed competitive streak balance against a sense of fair play tick all the boxes required for this prestigious role - good luck Colin!!! He has issued the following statement:
“I have been overwhelmed by the words of support and encouragement from the ROW team regarding my
appointment following Kev's sad withdrawal after an inspirational year as captain, and wish Kevin a speedy recovery. I am looking forward to the challenge of facing Jose and the OHA team and will do my best to stop the hanging of that
cheating bastard Jules”
Can the Colonel galvanise his troops?
New OHA Skip, Colonel Osborne has a much harder task to pull his troops together after the mauling they suffered at ESN in 2013, a job exacerbated by the two post Trevor scandals detailed by covert journalist Steph Lourman, (Annual Reports-2013-Press Releases).
The name of the OHA is currently being dragged through the gutter and the Colonel will need to work
very hard to build the appropriate bridges to repair said damage, and hopefully not only make the Lion Roar again, but also rekindle the gentlemanly spirit of Hampton that their founder Hammond set out way back in Tudor days. His early commitment is already remarkable - a trip Down Under has
hastily been arranged to investigate the "Great Poulter Handicap Scandal".
Now he has the task of dealing with rumours that one or two OHA regulars are wavering citing either business, family and other golf events as possible reasons for non availability in 2014. Hopefully this is just a case of post Trevor blues, the taste of defeat being a bitter pill to swallow - and said OHA boys losing site of the fact that The Trevor is simply the best golf event on this planet. If ever there was a man to make these boys see sense, then the Colonel is said man.
The Colonel will be on the case to remind said waverers what playing in the OHA colours actually means and what
the event truly stands for. This is the first time that Hampton may be the issue when completing the team numbers.
Thankfully their leader is more than capable of overcoming this potential crisis.
The name of the OHA is currently being dragged through the gutter and the Colonel will need to work
very hard to build the appropriate bridges to repair said damage, and hopefully not only make the Lion Roar again, but also rekindle the gentlemanly spirit of Hampton that their founder Hammond set out way back in Tudor days. His early commitment is already remarkable - a trip Down Under has
hastily been arranged to investigate the "Great Poulter Handicap Scandal".
Now he has the task of dealing with rumours that one or two OHA regulars are wavering citing either business, family and other golf events as possible reasons for non availability in 2014. Hopefully this is just a case of post Trevor blues, the taste of defeat being a bitter pill to swallow - and said OHA boys losing site of the fact that The Trevor is simply the best golf event on this planet. If ever there was a man to make these boys see sense, then the Colonel is said man.
The Colonel will be on the case to remind said waverers what playing in the OHA colours actually means and what
the event truly stands for. This is the first time that Hampton may be the issue when completing the team numbers.
Thankfully their leader is more than capable of overcoming this potential crisis.